Oh… my moody kids!

I wish I had a magic mirror that can tell me what kind of mood my kids will be today.  After having the week from hell last week, it’s no wonder that I had to go to the wine store and re-stock my stash. 

Monday, they had school, so it did not matter what kind of mood they were.  As it was not my problem, but their teacher’s.  SELFISH, I know, but I am all about being honest on this blog!

Tuesday, I went to work out, so most of the morning they were in the daycare.  After we went to the mall and they were so much fun, giggling and saying funny things to me! I had a great day; they even said that we had to call this “fun day”.

Wednesday, not so much fun! I had to make a few returns, went to several stores and every single store was a nightmare.  Fighting about a toy, or who gets to open the door, or who holds mommy’s hands first!

Thursday, was a holiday.  We got to spend the whole day at the synagogue and it was incredible!  They sat during service and listened and whispered and were just angels.  What gives?!?!

Friday, was another long day.  They would not listen! What happened to my little angels who just sat during the Rabbi’s sermon and were the example of the whole room?  How can 3 year olds change in such short time?  CYBIL!!!  The worst to me is when they get mean.  A stranger looks at them and wants to say hi and their response is “I not go to say hi to you!”…. what’s that?!?!  I am mortified every time that happens.

Moral of the story: enjoy the good days because those fun moments will be miss. And know that when we are having a bad day, it ends and when it does… there is a new stash of wine waiting for you!

Grumpy old me!

Now I know why I always though older people are grumpier.  I am becoming one! 

Things are starting to bother me now… things that never bothered me before.   

Loud noises, this one really made me laugh.  I never thought I will get annoyed at kids being loud while playing outside; especially if they are not my kids.  My neighbor‘s kids were riding their bikes and were yelling while I was inside and could hear them, and I actually looked outside the window and said: “punks!”.  What was that? I asked… well it was me getting older and grumpier.

Traffic, I can’t stand fast drivers.  Again, never thought that I would get angry at people driving faster than me and saying things like: “where are the cops when you need them.”  I used to love driving a little faster than the limit and did not mind passing people.  I think things change when you have kids too; you become less daring and think about consequences.

Lines… well, people cutting lines.  What is up with that?  I just want to get in their faces and ask them if they were taught about lines. 

Phone conversations!  This is so ironic, because when I turned 15 we got a phone in the house, and my mom had to actually put a lock on the phone (we had rotary phones back then) because I talked on the phone too much. Today I HATE to talk on the phone, I much rather email my friends with plans or questions. Make it quick and painless. 

I tend to be “less” understanding about other people’s time.  When friends tell me that they don’t have the time to check email is hard for me to understand it.  I wonder, how long does it take to open email, how long does it take to glance at the title or who is from.  Move with technology people!   Or some people who don’t work and don’t have kids tell me that there is no food in their house because they did not have the time to go grocery shopping.  That just kills me!

What happened with “go with the flow”, or “live and let live”?  I just want to make sure I am happy and comfortable and screw the rest.  I am a lot more selfish these days as well.  I used to run my life according to what made me happy … as long as everybody around me was happy as well. Sometimes that meant having to “accommodate” other people before me.  Well… not anymore. 

What does this say about when I get to my 60s!!! Oh my GOD, help us all.  It is going to be a true test to my friends and family.  If at 40 am already becoming a GRUMPY OLD LADY, what will I be when I am 60. OH LORD HAVE MERCY!

Coming To America

I always thought it was interesting how people from the United States called themselves AMERICANS.  I think everybody who lives on the American continent should be called Americans.  But that’s a whole other blog day. 

I have been living in the states for 23 years; I got here when I was 18. Mathematically speaking I am an American because I have been here longer than I was in South America.  But, there are a few things that I still can’t get used to. You can take the girl out of Paraguay, but you can’t take Paraguay out of the girl. Here are a few things I will never get used to: 

-Summer in JULY? This means the holidays are in the winter.  At home sprinklers were on while my mother, aunts and grandmother were cooking the big dinner! The cousins would sit outside and eat watermelon with spoons and after getting all dirty just get more sprinklers on us!  We had Christmas dinner on a long table set on the back yard of my grandma’s house.  She built her nativity scene under her bamboo and coconut trees.  We barbecued and spent it outdoors until crazy hours of the night.

- The school year ends in the middle of the year and not in November… towards the end of the year. It’s so confusing to me! When I tried to think about the school year I have to combine 2 year calendar?  Weird!

- You have to call friends to see if it’s ok to stop by, sometimes even family.  This one I have to agree, that in the last 3 years, since the twins were born I am starting to get used to.  My house is an absolute mess and if my mother-in-law were to just POP-IN, I would be MORTIFIED!

-Dinner at 6p? We eat between 9p and 10p!  Maybe that’s because we also have afternoon tea or mate, so we are not hungry by 6p, we just had tea and pastries.   Our work hours are between 7a ‘til 12noon, and then go home for lunch and siesta and then go back to work at around 3p or so.  So you have your “merienda” at work and then come home to make dinner at 7p and eat with the family at 9p or 10p. Our lunches are HUGE and our dinners very small. Totally backwards than here, maybe that’s why my weight has never been the same since I moved here.  And I can also blame it on BACON, MILKSHAKES, and FRIES!!!

- There are no siestas here! Although once I had kids and stayed home with them… the siestas are back in my life.

-It’s considered tacky to sit in your front yard in a lounge chair? When that’s what we looked forward to every afternoon, especially in the spring and summer!  My friends and I would sit outside, to watch the drive byes and drink Terere, which is the cold version of Mate, and Mate is like tea but you put the tea in a big cup stick a special straw in and serve the hot water into the tea herbs.  It’s yummy, and anybody who tries it, gets hooked on it.

- You could go weeks without seeing your neighbors.  I guess back home most people sit outside to enjoy terere or mate and you saw each other a lot.  What’s the fun of gossiping if there is nothing to gossip about or with!

- Nobody goes for a joy ride, but then again who can afford them these days. But we would go for a joy ride and by the end of the ride we will find a place to hang out and within an hour all our friends will be gathering around drinking mate or terere depending on the season!  I go visit every 2 years and this still happens which I think is awesome!

-Going to the store is a huge outing, especially with kids. It could take hours.  I pack my bag with snacks, drinks, diapers, and some kind of entertainment so I can get through my list without interruptions. But even that sometimes does not work.  In South America we had little stores pretty much in every corner, my parents owned one. They are called “despensas”. Every day people make a 5 minute walk to these stores and buy stuff they needed to make dinner that night. Maybe once a month you’ll go to the supermarket to buy the big stuff or the stuff you can store for a month.

-Your whole family does NOT live 5 minutes from you!  I miss having family close by.  My husband’s family is here and that’s great. But his family is small so it still does not feel like at home.  I grew up with all my cousins just minutes away.  I think we took that for granted, we knew that any given afternoon I can see them, play with them or later in my life a quick game of volleyball.  I have 29 first cousins, I am not even counting the extended family who was also in my hometown.  I’ll never forget the first time I took my husband home. Every time we went for a walk we ran into a relative.  He would ask “who was that?” and I will say “my cousin”; so next time we ran into another relative… he did not bother to ask! 

I am an American now and I love it, I love that dreams do come true in this country, but my South American blood is very strong and very thick, just like my thighs.  What’s comical is that every time I go visit my hometown, my brothers tell me how “AMERICANIZED” I am;  when I don’t see that at all.  In fact, I get upset when they say that.  Not sure why because I love this country and who I became here, but maybe because I don’t want my brothers to think I am losing my roots? AND, yes… I still have a lot of South American flair in me… specially my grammar (deal with it).  I do hope that my kids grow up to be proud Americans, but also be proud of where their mommy came from.

Will I want more kids?

I remember when I was pregnant with Cameron, who is now 7, somebody told me to "enjoy the journey".  That is true for most of life's adventures but in particular the next 40 weeks to come.  To have a person grow inside you, it was an incredible feeling.  My pregnancy with Cameron was super easy and one I definitely enjoyed.  When he was almost 2 we decided it was time for more, but nature had other plans.  After 5 miscarriages we had to go through IVF.  I was blessed with identical twins, and my pregnancy with them was challenging but still a miracle I treasured and enjoyed. 
Now, with 3 boys and being busy and challenged ALL the time was definitely sure I did not want any more kids.  Today I had to go to my OBGYN for a routine check up and on my way I wondered whether I would be "sad" that I won't be pregnant EVER again.  But, to my surprise, I was laughing inside.  I saw these women struggling to sit and stand up, moaning every time they moved, and whispering to their husband: "shit, I have to pee AGAIN!”  So, even though it was an amazing experience that I am very glad I didn't take for granted, I don't miss that!
And to answer my question whether I want more kids... well today was a difficult day and my boys helped me remember that 3 are definitely ENOUGH!
I love my 3 boys, but some days I feel like sticking a fork in my eye... like today.  I am glad for modern technology to be able to go back to pictures and videos to remind me of their early stage.  As much as I enjoyed them as babies,   I am very happy to enjoy THEIR journey to LIFE.